The contents of this blog are my original work and therefore copyrighted by the team #ApparentlyLazo. No content shall be used without my permission there in.
This blog doesn’t intend to serve as a mockery or self destruction of ones nocturnal characters but a true reflection of the underground and hidden character traits of self-proclaimed celebs around E-town!
Eldoret boys are first graduating from Grade one to grade two instead of transforming from boyhood to manhood. Where did this term Eldoret boy originate? I’m seated at one of the joints around town enjoying a cool fragrance of mandago air when I get a text from an unknown number saying,
Kwani unafikiria kutuma screenshot za conversation zetu kwa group inakufanya mwanume? You are a boy! In fact an Eldoret Boy
What? Who is she? This marks the beginning of screenshot photographers, a big deal in all WhatsApp groups in town. Anything that cooks in “Club Signature” sinks in the hearts of “Club 24” real quick or maybe lands in the hands of “The legs of Eldoret” wasn’t meant to be humorous though.
So I’m down on the groups and the blogs digging deep for the reasons why ladies are out of town saying eldoret got no taste. Claims are everywhere that Eldoret got no men, that it’s full of small boys who gossip and compete with women. No wonder boutique and hair saloons in town are prospering businesses.
I meet a friend, a female friend she asks me for a cup of coffee, we storm into maggies-the war restaurant-she recites me of an encounter with one celeb in town. “Lazo these guys hawana anything, I used to feed this guy but akienda timba he forgets nimeenda comfy night shift. I hustle hard but she brings women in my bedsitter not even ” our” hawana courtesy kabisa. So I don’t take her claims seriously because I assume ladies are always bitter after a breakup.
It’s a cold evening, we decide to buy milk at Khetias supermarket the nearest shopping place. I meet my favourite runway queen, she isn’t in a good mood but claims she wants to talk to me, she is feeling moist. “Lazo nataka kuongea na wewe, it’s urgent. Twende kwangu please.” We are at her place, she’s crying. “Imagine aliniambia atabonga na majudges nipewe crown. Nilimpea dooh yangu yote, nimekosana na boy wangu sahii sijui nifanye nini! Amekaa hapa kwangu last week yote, nimemfeed, nimemfulia manguo hadi boxers! Sijui nianzie wapi aki Lazo!” I totally understand nothing upto that point. I’m lost in her stories so I try to connect ideas and stories. It rings in my minds the fact a recently beauty pageant that was recently held in town. So it was him? But why?
My research leads me to this conclusion, that a lady in love will do anything to keep you, but the moment you deny her the trust and show her your back while she was giving you A to Z, is total sign of immature infections. Take her out, make her spend nights at your place, make her start using your Versman and let her forget her Nivea. Make her miss you. A good celebrity is he who boards a cab from workplace at 4 in the morning to his house alone! Without a bride!